#the QUOTABILITY goes crazy

[foolish-edworm]

when i was watching jennifers body i didn't think they'd make needy/jennifer so explicit — i thought it was just gonna be a subtext thing but nope!! they literally make out! i was like 'no way jennifer's actually gonna kiss her she's just gonna make a joke of it' so imagine my surprise! good for them.

[saline-coelacanth]

Hope you guys will indulge me a little bit as I just wanna list off some things I love about Zeke

He's the Zekenator

He's such a silly goofy guy

His design is perfection

The Eye of Shining Justice

He's extremely quotable (I have "Zeke von Genbu, Bringer of Chaos! Mostly known as Zeke and often addressed as the Zekenator" memorized)

His blade, Pandoria, has lightning powers and I like lightning powers

Also he has a big fucking lightning sword

His super ultra mega move is called "Ultimate Lightning Fury Slash Max" and the name of it is so long that in game it has to be abbreviated to ULFS Max

Ultimate Lightning Fury Slash Max is also just my favorite move to use, it's very satisfying

Turters

He's a genuinely interesting character with depth despite the fact he initially seems like just a comic relief character

"Handling a Man's Turtle" <- another great quote from the Zekenator

His theme goes hard

The fact that his main nerf is that his animations for his moves take a long time because he's such a show off

He has bad luck as a character trait and that actually carries over into his stats as he has the worst luck stat of the party members (That sounds bad but I honestly just love the attention to detail)

He's the Zekenator

Gushing about his backstory more, he's a prince who hates the way his kingdom is run and got kicked out for constantly leaving and refusing to do his royal studies, but even so he still clearly cares about his kingdom and his people, he just hates the way things are run

He's also 100% correct about the kingdom being run poorly btw

Him and Pandoria have such funny moments and banter but are also so soft they make me so crazy /pos

He's such a great mentor/big brother figure to Rex

And also his rivalry with Morag is really great

Nia calls him Shellhead and he just kinda accepts it

I feel like I should bring up a point involving Tora now but all I can really think of is they have some funny dialogue together

He has a no kill policy because he believes killing people makes you weak

Just every cutscene he's in brings me joy

His idle animations are great, sometimes I just put the controller down to watch them

Did I mention that he's the Zekenator?

[jedimandalorian]

According to the latest Star Wars Chronology, the years 9 ABY to 19 ABY are called the “Peace of the New Republic.”

It is likely that the Ahsoka series and its sequels and crossovers all take place in this time period, which means

1. Lucasfilm will have to retcon this chronology because Thrawn starts another galactic war.

or

2. Thrawn finds out that the Emperor he once served is dead and the Empire has fallen, so he goes home to the Chiss Ascendancy in the Unknown Regions.

and/or

3. The Nightmothers were just using Thrawn to get to Dathomir, just as Thrawn was using them to get back home to the main SW galaxy. Now that the witches have achieved their goal, they will betray Thrawn and/or he will betray them.

and/or

4. There will be an effort by the heroes of The Mandalorian, the Ahsoka show, and other members of the Ghost Crew to stop a war. There will be an armed conflict with little or no help from the New Republic, and the brave unsung heroes save the galaxy from a bigger war that could have happened but didn’t.

Likely character deaths or transformations: Thrawn. Ahsoka.

Possible romance arcs completed: DinBo, Sabezra.

Cultures reborn/transformed: Nightsisters, Mandalorians, Jedi.

New Master and Apprentice pairings: Sabine and Grogu, Ezra and Jacen.

These are the “Jedi Mandalorians.” (Yes, I have been thinking about this for a very long time. Look at my username.)

Mando by birth: Sabine Wren, who restores her Clan.

Mando by adoption: Grogu.

Mando by marriage: Ezra Bridger. 😏

What do you think? What are the other possibilities?

Am I crazy? Here’s my Ahsoka Season 1 Bingo card:

Tolkien references (too many to list here)

Jacen is Force sensitive.

Sabine misses Ezra. 😢

Thrawn does the unexpected.

Kanan reference (more than expected). 😢

Chopper is a menace (not as much as he could have been).

Hera misses Kanan (his photo is on her dashboard). 😢

“Snips” 🙌

Anakin flashback. 🙌

Rex lives. (They didn’t kill him off yet and we did get a cameo so that’s a win.)

Quotable Huyang (Don’t get me started.)

Ezra is still a dork (and we love him for it). 😂

Ezra is a badass. 🙌

Sabezra tease. (Just go look at the rest of my Tumblr.) 😍

Mutual pining idiots. (See above.) 😍

Clan Wren. (We got a mention. R. I. P. 😢)

Sabine painting. (We saw the mural, the loth cat doodles and the graffiti in Ezra’s tower and on Ahsoka’s ship.)

No Fenn Rau. (I still want to see him in live action, maybe in Mando s4.)

Clone Wars Flashback. (More than one!)

No Rebels flashback. (We did get many callbacks though. I’d love to see any of them cameo in Andor s2.)

Loth rat. (Not the animal, but Ezra being his usual chaotic streetwise self, such as impersonating a stormtrooper and stealing his helmet and armor.)

Loth cat. (Sabine’s adorable pet. 😻)

Loth wolf. (They are on the end credits star map and the Lothal Rebels mural. Howlers are also wolf-like.)

Run. (Our heroes did a lot of that.)

*******

So am I good, or what?

The Prophet of the Church of Ezrabine has spoken.

[yen-sids-tournament]

Welcome all to the Quotable Disney Tournament!

Perhaps the easiest way to determine the best Disney quote would be to ask:

"Magic Mirror on the wall, which is the fairest Quote of all?"

Alas, we have yet to stumble across such a gifted mirror in our life... (but if you have one: reach out, maybe we could make a deal???) Besides, democracy is a great second choice to magical omnipotence!

This tournament consists of a collection of 128 Quotes, be them solo sayings or exchanges, going all the way back to the very first Animated Feature Film, and every decade there after.

However, with so many words, we are going to wait to construct a pictural bracket for you all. You'll just have to be surprised which quotes go up against each other this first round!

We did create 'cards' of a sort with each Quote on them. And while they are exquisite (omg thanks!), we ask you vote on the content of the words and not our artistic choices.

The first group of polls will be out on December 8th! And another about every 3 days afterwards. [edit: every 4 days starting with the Dec 22 reset.] *

Below we gave you the organization approach and fine print, for those interested:

We have divided all into two Groups of 64. All quotes from the same movie/show/place are in the same group. This prevents two, say, Mushu (Mulan) Quotes from being the finalists, but they could be up against each other as semi- or quarter-finalists. The bracket building also included an attempt at seeding, where those which had more submissions/propaganda were ranked higher. Thus the idea is number 1 of each half goes against their number 64 and so on, meeting at 32 and 33.** We only want to release 8 polls a day. This means 8 total groups for the first round. Each poll will be 1 week long (as usual) so this round might feel LOOOONG even with the staggered releases. We will also provide a 'master list' of sorts for each group with links to each poll in that group. You are encouraged to share your thinkings and propaganda for or against. If it becomes outrageous we will step in (has yet to happen). We only reblog reblog comments, not tags, not screenshots of replies. Also as typical, any tie will see both move on individually to the next round. Finally: the fonts used on the cards are either available on Google docs, fontspace.com, or fontmeme.com--and one on fontbolt.com Here is where we got a start for looking for the fonts. And while they all had all 26 letters, they did not all have all the numbers or symbols.

*With the holiday season craziness, we reserve the ability to make mistakes and push a group or two as needed. [edit: we def. did not keep to this...]

**there were ties so really it's more 1 and one of the 60s at times...

And, as always, any questions, concerns, or general greetings are always welcomed!

[horeisenchi]

My detailed review of all of the SATC characters

I recently just finished SATC (haven’t watched the movies or AJLT and, honestly from what I’ve heard, I don’t want to.) and I have VERY strong opinions about each character. Some may be controversial.

SPOILERS!!!!! BE WARNED!

Carrie Bradshaw : I had my moments where I liked her, and related to her. And the other moments, I wanted to choke her the fuck out and tell her to get a goddamn grip. Every man that wasn’t Big, no matter how well they treated her, she threw out like trash. Of course, there’s assholes like Berger. But, men like Alexsandr Petrovsky who genuinely put effort into the relationship and made it abundantly clear they wanted to treat her right, she threw out like trash and she got the “ick” from. Miss girl got the “ick” because someone was treating her right. Idc how BPD coded she is, I’m diagnosed BPD and I don’t act like that lmao. Outside of romantic relationships, she’s not a very good friend. She repeatedly put men over her friends, and was judgmental of them when she would do things that were (arguably) worse. It was okay for her to go out and get fucked by multiple men a week, but it was “wild” and “crazy” whenever Charlotte would do something like wearing a revealing dress to go out in Atlantic City, or when she had that fling with that guy from the Hamptons. Im genuinely convinced she was insecure of Charlotte because she knew girls like Charlotte are Big’s type. She judged the hell out of Samantha for giving a postman a blowjob in her office. Sure, it was unfortunate that she walked in on it, but it’s not like she doesn’t have any idea how Samantha’s lifestyle is. She knows about Samantha’s escapades, so choosing only then to judge it is a dick move. Over all, Carrie is a huge narcissist with BPD tendencies, and should invest in therapy to help her see the wrong in her behaviour. But, I don’t think she’s a bad person. She’s relatable in the sense of, we’ve all been there before. Style-wise, I liked SOME things she wore. Some.

Miranda Hobbes : By far my least favourite out of the core 4. I’m not a fan of overtly cynical people. Sure, she had some of the most quotable lines in the show and was super relatable AT TIMES. But, over all, she was insufferable and a HUGE buzzkill. Her view on romance and relationships is just so insanely warped and way too 4th wave feminism-coded. It gets to a point where you just sound like a bitch, who just wants a man to do nothing except bend to your will and fill your insane expectations. The back and forth with Steve was so infuriating. She, honestly, robbed Steve of a genuinely happy relationship with Debbie because she didn’t make her mind up quick enough. And, her insanely self-centered attitude came back to bite her in the ass (thank god). Personally, if I were Steve, I’d run the other goddamn direction from that woman ever wanting another relationship. She also, can’t be happy for her friends when it comes to relationship aspects that don’t fit her view. She always needs to be the debby downer and make people feel bad for doing things she doesn’t agree with. Over all, she’s miserable. And I don’t like her. Style-wise, I’m not into the business woman thing.

Charlotte York : My beautiful angel girl. My fav of the core 4. She genuinely has the kindest heart in the entire series. I can totally understand why people may mistake her being more traditional can make her come off as a prude, or judgy. But, she goes about it in a way (unlike Miranda) where she’s not overtly judging anyone, she just shares her opinion with the notion of “I’ll still support you no matter what.” and has never made anyone feel alienated because of the strength of her beliefs. She had her wild moments, sure, but all of the girls have. It’s just her developing who she is as a person, and helping her navigate finding love, and herself. Which has been her entire character. She’s been the optimistic dreamer who romanticized everything. And, since everyone else in that group is so cynical, she’s what they really need. Over all, she’s a really great character, and an amazing and supportive friend. Style-wise, she has my favourite style. Very clean and very mature.

Samantha Jones : My second favourite of the core 4. (I know, very opposite) She was just so authentically herself and didn’t care about what anyone thought of her. Shes a woman who is content with her life decisions, and knows what she wants. Not to say she’s perfect, I do firmly believe she should have been way more supportive about Miranda’s baby than she was. As someone with kids, it infuriated me how little she regarded Brady, and Miranda for having him. However, it’s canon that Samantha, even with how lavish and flamboyant she is about herself and her choices, is very sensitive and falls insecure sometimes. So, I honestly think it’s a byproduct of that. She’s a very well-rounded character and had amazing development. (Besides that) She was also a great friend to all the girls, and never judged them for anything. Along with Charlotte, she had her opinions, but never pushed them onto anybody. Hence the quote “Not my style.” When Carrie asked her if she was judging her. Over all, the best written character in the show. Style-wise, I personally wouldn’t wear most of the things she does, but I don’t hate it.

Mr. Big : Situationship final boss. His personality is honestly that of a cardboard box to me. He reminds me of those sleazy jackasses from those 90s mafia movies. His only personality traits are that he fucks women, and is rich. However, I don’t think he’s entirely to blame for it either. Considering the show is canonically from Carrie’s perspective, and we see Mr. Big as Carrie’s perception of him. Also, I don’t blame him for keeping Carrie at arms length for as long as he did, considering she VERY CLEARLY had some issues. She also cheated on Aiden with him, so how the hell was he supposed to trust her? And, he was more than willing to cheat on Natasha (my queen) with her. The mentality of “if she’d do it to them, she’d do it to me.” So in all honesty, she set that premise herself. But, I do think he should have been clear with her. It would have saved the both of them a LOT of time, and energy, if he had been up front with her. But, men never are. Are they? Over all, I think he’s very boring, and him and Carrie deserve each other.

Natasha Naginsky : My unproblematic queen. I have no complaints about her at all. She literally was happy, in love, and married when someone old enough to be her mother had to swoop in and ruin it for her. And the man she loved absolutely betrayed her. Her first (and from what I understand, only) experience being married was destroyed for her. Natasha’s responses to Carrie, were always so valid. If I found a bitch in my apartment naked and eating MY FOOD and I broke my tooth chasing her out, yeah, I would also wish to just pretend she was dead. Over all, Natasha deserved so much better. Style-wise, flawless.

Aiden Shaw : Okay, I know the major opinion is HE is who Carrie should’ve ended up with, but I don’t like him. On paper, he’s an amazing partner. On the surface, he’s great. However, he was a tad emotionally manipulative, and acted like a manchild. But, I also want to keep the possibility that he was driven to act the way he did because of how Carrie treated him. The entire thing of him essentially only wanting to get married, not because it was Carrie, but just because he wanted to BE married, gave me the ick. All their fights also gave me the ick. On BOTH their parts. Yes, mostly Carrie was in the wrong, but Aiden’s reactions in some of them were absolutely uncalled for and very cringe. I get why Carrie didn’t want to be with him anymore, but she definitely should not have done him the way she did him. They were just bad for each other.

Steve Brady : If I were to get with any man in the show, it’d be him. Man DOES NOT play around about his girl, however he is loyal to a fault. I stand by the fact that Steve deserved better. Sure, he had some manchild tendencies, but the way to assist with those things is to have a conversation about them. Not flip the fuck out. The reason he didn’t improve on some things, is because it was always being nagged and berated at him and not calmly approached. Not saying he needs to be gentle-parented, but communicated with in a HEALTHY and CALM manner. All his crashouts were honestly valid. He put himself, emotionally, through hell and high water with Miranda, because he loved her, and never got so much as a thank you. He’s also an amazing, doting father and has been from the getgo. HIS BABY doesn’t even have his last name, even though he’s fully involved in his life, and he supported Miranda on that. He is a MAN. And he deserved more.

Stanford Blatch : There were times I enjoyed his character, and times I didn’t. I definitely think his character is underappreciated, but I also find him very annoying. He’s honestly the male version of Carrie, just more insecure. I’m sorry, I can’t do whiny insecure men. Even if they’re gay. The entire thing of parading Marcus around Anthony was so. Fucking. Weird. And if I was Marcus, I’d just assume Stanford was into him and wanted to make him jealous. Over all, pretty bland character and annoying.

Trey MacDougal : Ugh, he seemed so perfect, man. Visually, aesthetically, Charlottes type. Rich, holds traditional values, honors tradition. He’s just such a fucking mommas boy. He would’ve been so perfect if he didn’t have his mother, and if he’d just take some fucking viagra. I hate HATE HATE mommas boys. Also, his insane pride of not wanting to do anything on HIS END with helping his sex life with Charlotte and being insensitive to her feelings of wanting a child, and making no effort to better his end of the circumstance, was so sickening. (Lol, I’ve been her.) He knew it was her dream to be a mother, and he got so sick and so INSECURE that he threw her dream away. He gets points for giving her that sick ass apartment tho.

Jack Berger : I’ve met so many men like him, and they’re all insufferable. Another manbaby, who is insecure of a woman’s success. The man actually has no capacity to be able to healthily process complex emotions, yet he’s a writer?? Of a book that was (supposedly) good?? Insane and unbelievable to me, and makes me think Carrie doesn’t know how to judge books, lmao. He’s also, UGLY! I’ve never understood how ANYONE thought he was attractive. You could smell the pretentiousness on him from a mile away, and he has one of those faces that just constantly looks like he just ate shit. He’s a nitpicky little shit and he’s a little rat. I hate him so much.

Harry Goldenblatt : A MAANNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!! HE DOES NOT PLAY ABOUT HIS GIRL! He loves Charlotte so deeply, and listens to her, and accepts her, even if he doesn’t understand or agree. Truly such a supportive man, but also doesn’t stray away from his own core values. Honestly, the most stable character in the series, and very consistent. He is the type of man every woman wishes for. I can’t even say anything about his looks AT ALL because his character makes him insanely attractive. I have no complaints.

Smith Jerrod : I don’t think he should’ve been endgame for Samantha, like how some people do. However, I think he was good for Samantha, and an experience she needed. He made her feel loved, and supported, like no other man did. And he didn’t want to give up on her, even when she fucked Richard at that hotel party. He understood her, and truly saw her. Though, I don’t think as an actual relationship they would’ve lasted. He seems like he’d need someone his age, more his speed, and he was the experience Samantha needed to possibly be able to be accepting of a grander connection in the future, and know she is loveable.

Aleksandr Petrovsky : Okay, I’m an old man lover. Me and Aleksandr would literally be MARRIED if I was Carrie. HE. DIDNT. PLAY. ABOUT. HER. And he put such effort into the relationship, just for her to be so unappreciative. He’s European, (or Asian..? I know in some cases Russians are considered Asian, idk correct me in the comments if I’m wrong) they do romance differently over there, which is BETTER THAN HERE IN AMERICA. He’s just an old-fashioned guy who was serious about a girl and he made it known. I’ll never get why she dumped him.

Anthony Marentino : I’m alright with his character. I think he’s a genuine friend Charlotte needs, and he’s VERY brutally honest. However, I find him annoying a lot of the time, just because he’s fairly rude and his voice is like nails on a chalkboard. BUT, he’s extremely supportive of Charlotte and doesn’t play about her. However, he is overly superficial and that’s an ick for me. The way he treated Stanford was really fucking nasty, and could’ve been handled better if he wasn’t interested. The way he treats other people is just- ew.

Richard Wright : EWWWWWWWW WICKY ICKY ICKY ICKY ICKY!!!!!!!!! He’s such a disgusting little sewer rat, wannabe Hugh Hefner. He KNEW Samantha had genuine feelings for him and he fucked her over. Yall can’t tell me he wasn’t lusting over those hotel maids, and didn’t fuck at least two after they broke up. Also, men who ask for threesomes are so gross to me. Like, what do you mean you’re saying how much you care about me, yet you want to fuck another woman?? God, he’s such a DOGGGGG. I hate him.

Dr Robert Leeds : He’s hot, he’s a doctor, he’s nice, he’s another man that got cast aside. He was so good to Miranda, and was so accepting of her and Brady and made such a genuine effort, and she just cast him aside for her toxic relationship with Steve. His crash out on the staircase afterward was valid, however it did give me the ick when he started mocking her in bed… that was a bit much…

Bunny MacDougal : wants to fuck her son, next.

Maria Reyes : It’s definitely interesting that Samantha had a lesbian arc. And, I think they chose the right character for it. However, Maria wanted Samantha to fit a mold she just didn’t fit. I don’t have much comments besides that considering we didn’t see much of her besides just her struggling with Samantha being Samantha. She was also kinda crazy.. the breaking of the dishes was uncalled for. Though, I do think she was pretty insecure of all the men Samantha had been with before, but I feel like if you’re her big age, you should have that sort of emotional turmoil sorted out. Then again, what character in this show DOESNT need therapy?

That’s it! Lmk if I missed anyone.

[a-vibing-potato]

Finally got to watch Supernatural today for the first time in an actual week bc I've been to sick to absorb anything crazy and new since then and I watched 3 episodes :) (Season 2 Episodes 4-6)

They were so so good, especially No Exit (I LIVE for the Jo/Dean banter and honestly just Jo as a character. They both give off such strong bisexual vibes and as a bi/pan person myself the entire episode was just PANIC at how gorgeous everyone is.)

I also feel like I haven't been talking/ranting/rambling about Supernatural as much as I usually do with other fandoms??? I guess Season 1 was just really chill and funny and amazing but the end was BRUTAL. So intense and dramatic, and the beginning of Season 2 has been the same until about where I'm at now. Everyone's grieving John's death (and I'm like don'tttttt he sucksssss), and there's like no smiling/laughing/banter at all. Very serious first several episodes because this season will actually have plot and things happening to characters and not just the goofy "monster of the week" the first season had, which is good but I also miss my goofy quotable banter dialogue :( which is why I loved No Exit so much because it was actually funny again. Love my palette cleanser episodes with all my heart <333

Anyway, cannot WAIT to see where this season goes, I'm super excited for the next few episodes because I know a few things that are going to happen (thank you, little booklet that came with my box of all 15 seasons I got for Christmas that tells me descriptions for every single episode) and I will probably update tomorrow with dramatic thoughts about Crossroad Blues and Dean being stupid and making a deal with the devil :) If the Yellow-Eyed Demon comes, I'll cry :)

Love y'all, have a great night and look forward to more rambles to (hopefully!) come! (Really hopefully because I do also have a ton of school to make up this weekend from being sick. Plus two tests to study for :( but SPN!)

[clarajohnson]

the magicians s2e7

STOP IGNORING ME STOP IGNORING ME YOU PUSSY !!!!!!

you will know exactly what i'm going to say i'm going to say it until she goes away. i love you niffin alice.

one of these dummies is gonna call the brain police and you've got priors!

Evil Things Inside of Me That Used to Be Alice

SOOO fucking interesting, their conversation on "boxing her up" because alice is right! he IS trapping her! the first time i watched this show i was truly TRULY so angry at him for this. when he says "or you could be quiet and you could let me try and solve this" like my god the man never lets anything go! it's so unhealthy and like NOW i don't blame him because he's my best friend but the first time around i could only think of it as selfish and sinister and controlling.

the world's foremost expert on all things me... an all timer quote. god what a quotable scene!

i'm not bloodthirsty i just wanna be free :-( sorry but she's so hot if she was bloodthirsty i'd still do what she wanted

julia's hair is so nice in this scene

i love you korean knife magicians i really love you so much sometimes this show really just charms me

BANK HEIST !!!!!!!!! one of my favorite moments in this show

GOOD BECAUSE I DON'T margo marry me

sometimes i think about how many plots are running in any given scene/episode/season of this show and i swear i could pass out like who remembered ember shitting in the wellspring except tick pickwick did !!!!!

also love the magic-seeing lenses in this show that's always been charming to me. same with the mann reveal but i like the little lenses more.

when they kill off the haxenpaxen it feels to me like they were like okay we can't keep track of all this. which must have been a difficult decision for the magicians showrunners.

that poor girl is ~fucked!~

yeah to circle back to the one million concurrent plots i like that q's plot for the time being is "liberate the being of pure chaotic energy that looks like my girlfriend which is trapped in the tattoo on my back" in the grand scheme of things here it's kind of a minor issue lol

raise your hand if she's the reason that you fucking exploded in this life!

my best friend in the world does crazy shit and doesn't listen to me and like he probably means jules but unfortunately it's true of literally every character on this show

q is a remarkably good friend very attentive very concerned

help us rob a bank oh my god yes

love the anthropomorphic books also. fun throughline.

kady and penny have crazy fucking chemistry CRAZY chemistry

THERE'S OUR LITTLE KING. oh my god ohhhhh my god

margo's hair is sooo so so good.

aw i love that eliot didn't know margo had robbed a bank. it's so obviously a device so she can walk them through the security procedures because he would absolutely know that within like a month of them knowing each other but it's so cute.

ohhhh margo's little two-piece outfit. i'm not gonna look it up but i'm pretty sure this was from 2016 and i know this simply because i wore a two-piece dress to my high school winter formal. it was a dark fucking time.

yeah pass i like air >:-(

kady could've had her own show there's so much going on with her. and you know what? i'm not ashamed to say it. underutilized in fic.

alice had the bedroom of a precocious seven-year-old daughter of a single mother in a 2009 dramedy. where the wild things are ass bedroom.

return of the best bitches !!!!!!

brakebills must have some CRAZY fucking wards you ever think about it?

"oh nut up it's just a finger"

penny and kady grow up as though q did not get that finger in an orifice he was perfectly fine with

margo is so excited to coordinate a bank heist she is the number one girl in the world

remarkably extraordinarily fake bees i have to admire it

q and his FUCKING inability to take a sweater off

penny not touching the floor stresses me out SO badly. toe on the floor. (penny voice) god damn it.

love the security guards in love

the wrecking ball is a weapon of peace :'-)

(cuntiest voice in the world) oh well, rest in peace penny

i understand his reasoning for not telling anyone about niffin alice in his head but if i was q i would've been immediately telling everyone like that's not the shit you keep inside

"i've always been good at math" i would never believe that

q's saddest little "oh no :-o" this heist has everything !!!!

once again i feel like horomancy only becomes a big tricky thing later in the series because jules invents a time machine within like an afternoon. maybe two days.

ohhhh the fucking dokkaebi stress me out

first of all el taking a fatal injury for q :-( second of all KADY FUCKING DECKING THE BATTLE MAGICIAN !!!!! third of all q struggling to leave even the golem oh this gentle little guy who is in love with eliot waugh

somebody find out how they did julia's lashes i'm jealous

[tilbageidanmark]

MOVIES I WATCHED THIS WEEK (#194):

4 MORE CZECHOSLOVAK NEW WAVE CLASSICS:

🍿 I never heard of Juraj Herz THE CREMATOR (1969) before, and now it had became my favorite New Wave dark-dark comedy from there. What a moody, creepy and unique take of the rise of fascism. It reminded me of DM Thomas 'The white hotel', Bertolucci's 'The Conformist', and other upsetting takes on the 1930's. The parable of manager of a Prague Crematorium as he descends into madness, is philosophical, macabre, and horrifying. Highly recommended! 9/10.

🍿 THE JUNK SHOP (1965) was that Juraj Herz's first film, another bizarre potpourri of odd characters and unsettling story. Surrealistically absurd.

🍿 JOSEPH KILIAN (1963) is a mildly-surreal, mildly-Kafkaesque allegory about an unnamed man who's looking for the elusive party comrade Kilian, "Joseph K", supposedly to tell him that somebody important had died. Wandering in Kafka's own city of Prague, he impulsively rents a lethargic cat, but when he comes back the next day to return it, the shop is no longer there, and nobody remembers it ever was. He goes from one bureaucratic office to another looking for his 'Godot' as well as a solution to what is happening, but neither he nor us finds an explanation.

🍿 "Excuse me, but we are not here for hats..."

I KILLED EINSTEIN, GENTLEMEN (1970), my 3rd slapstick comedy by Oldřich Lipský (after the highly innovative 'Happy End' and 'Lemonade Joe'!). With a dadaist and creative futuristic premise (In 1999, women become infertile and start growing beards, so they send a crazy professor in a time machine to 1911, to kill young Albert Einstein, so that he won't develop what later becomes the G-Bomb (?!), but it could be so much better. More 'Barbarella' than '2001'. Just like the other influential Czechoslovakian saga 'Ikarie XB 1' (Or 'Voyage to the End of the Universe’ as it was called in American), the science-fiction was stupid, and it didn't work for me. 2/10.

Watch it for the scene at 9:30, where the time travelers use a literal "Selfie Stick", to snap a photo of themselves, before they embark on their trip!

(I was going to add the 2018 Indian documentary 'CzechMate: In Search of Jiří Menzel' to the list, but at 7.5 hours it will have to wait for another week!)

🍿

First watch: RED BEARD, Kurosawa's 1965 masterpiece. A 3-hour long classic epic about dignity and kindness among the down-trodden. Beautifully shot with classic Dostoevsky depth. This was the 16th and last collaboration with Toshiro Mifune, who got pissed that the production took two years to finish. All the women here were very beautiful. (Screenshot Above).

🍿

2 MID-CAREER DE NERO RE-WATCHES:

🍿 “Why are you unpopular with the Chicago Police Department?"

No matter how many dozens of times or how often I've seen peak "Buddy comedy" MIDNIGHT RUN, I never tire of it. It's the perfect genre film for me, with 100% quotable dialogue, the amazing 'Alonzo Mosely, FBI', Danny Elfman's iconic score, the powerful emotional core of lost family right in the middle of all the fun, and the impeccable script, which apparently went though a lot of improvisation to create this immaculate movie. ♻️. 10/10 again.

"See you in the next life."

🍿 Extra: HOT DOGS FOR GAUGUIN (1972) was director Martin Brest's very first film. Starving young photographer Danny DeVito plans on blowing up The Statue of Liberty, so that he can become rich and famous by capturing it on film. Brest made it as a student film at NYU, and that's exactly how good it is. Surprisingly, it was later selected for preservation by the National Film Registry! 2/10.

🍿 KING OF COMEDY, a cringey parody of celebrity stalking, obsessive fan culture and network television. Psychopaths Rupert Pupkin and Sandra Bernhard, who both fail to distinguish between reality and fantasy, are so awkward and embarrassing that following their delusional story is creepy & unpleasant. ♻️.

🍿

2 DOCUMENTARIES ABOUT 2 DIFFERENT FILMMAKERS:

🍿 I probably only seen one movie [Andrei Konchalovsky's 'Runaway Train'], among the hundreds made by Israeli producer-director Menahem Golan. His crude, low-brow action B-movies from the 70's and 80's were not my cup of tea.

The light biography GOLAN: A FAREWELL TO MR. CINEMA was made by a British admirer, and is more of a trip down memory lane, depicting the 83-year-old ex-mogul, semi-retired in Jaffa, talking about his past glories, and still trying to sign Al Pacino via fax to another Canon Films-style action movie.

🍿 There's probably no Venn diagram for cinephiles that includes both Golan and Robert Bresson. AU HASARD BRESSON (1967) was a German documentary about the making of his heartbreaking film 'Mouchette'. It's been 3 years - I should watch it again.

🍿

2 TECHNICAL LECTURES (ON SUBJECTS I KNOW LITTLE ABOUT):

🍿 “Never never never take the first No”.

FUTURE POSSIBILITIES: DATA, HARDWARE, SOFTWARE AND PEOPLE (And Part two) was a famous lecture given to a group of NSA data scientists in 1982. The lecturer was renown mathematician and rear admiral Grace ("Grandma COBOL") Hopper, and the lecture was unavailable until recently. It's as inspiring and entertaining as any current TED Talk.

🍿 FUTURE IS SCARY is a recent (secret) talk that ex-Google Eric Schmidt gave at Stanford about the future of Artificial Intelligence.

🍿

2 WORLD WAR 2 PROPAGANDA FILMS:

🍿 THE BATTLE OF SAN PIETRO (1945) was a war documentary made by John Huston, about a fierce battle on the Italian front, which resulted in 1,200 allied casualties. Hemingway-wannabe Huston claimed that it was shot at close range as the actual fighting went on all around them.

🍿 EDUCATION FOR DEATH (1943) was a Disney anti-Nazi animation, one of 32 propaganda shorts it made for the "Office of War Information" during the war. It's like Peter Pan, but with Hitler, Göring, and Goebbels.

🍿

2 ANIMATIONS BY CANADIAN SAND ARTIST CAROLINE LEAF:

🍿 THE STREET (1976), based on a story by Mordecai Richler, is a wonderful memoir of a Jewish boy from Montreal about the time his whole family was waiting for the sickly matriarch to die. 8/10.

🍿 Another literary adaptation, Kafka's THE METAMORPHOSIS OF MR. SAMSA is also painted on glass. Kafkaesque, claustrophobic, nightmarish. [*Female Director*]

🍿

4 SHORTS:

🍿 Francis Ford Coppola posted on his Letterboxd account a list of the 15 films that inspired 'Megalopolis'. The earliest one was the first screen adaptation of epic BEN HUR from 1907. OK....

🍿 Only a fragment remained of VÄRMLÄNDINGARNA (1910). It was directed by Ebba Lindkvist, the first female Swedish film director, and one of the earliest woman directors in the world. [*Female Director*]

🍿 OMNIBUS (1992), an award-winning French film, about a commuter who boarded the express train by mistake, and must get off between stations. (From a good list of all the Oscar winning Short films).

🍿 THE TURK SHOP (2017), an uncomfortable incident at a modern Swedish office, where a new employee uses the wrong phrase, to everybody's minor embarrassment. [*Female Director*]

🍿

LEAP YEAR (2010), a cloyingly annoying rom-com with (cute but annoying) redhead Amy Adams in Ireland. A skin-deep Hallmark exercise full of 100% romantic cliches and repeated tropes. The scene of their first kiss was lovely though. 1/10.

🍿

(ALL MY FILM REVIEWS - HERE).

[crimsun-n-clover]

went to see barbie today with maggie, daisy, alex, and ruth.

maggie and i cried dude it was AMAZING

a lot of it was maggie either pointing at me or alex for the characters doing something stupid that even SLIGHTLY related to us

alex was almost late which had the other three losing their goddamn MINDS. pacing and saying his name trying to summon him n shit. maggie said “he’s probably pulled over with a double cheeseburger smoking a cigarette and listening to van halen” mag i know you don’t know i smoke but that sounds like the best day of my life. instead of shuttling you three around i could’ve been splitting a pack of camels at burger king with the guy i’m tied for as biggest van halen fan? yes please.

anyways it was such a good movie. very funny, amazing comedic timing, very relevant, whimsical, earnest, charming, all that. it feels like an old cult classic you find out about when you’re in middle school that changes your life. it’s like rocky horror but socially acceptable. represents an oppressed community as the majority of the characters and anyone who isn’t included in that group is treated as the outsiders for once, is so warm and silly and there’s things you can still laugh at every time you watch, and a little bit at the end that you didn’t expect to make you cry so hard.

it’s very quotable and so sweet and genuine. all the doll characters really do seem like they’re being controlled by idealistic children.

i just know that maggie and i are gonna refer to my trailer as stevie’s mojo dojo casa house.

we got a lot of photos of us in our feminine doll outfits and we looked really cool. i was basically in a relaxed version of my homecoming look. black v neck dress, bigass eyeliner, beehive hair and nicely done bangs.

we went to waffle house after but alex had to go home right after the movie. i’m not as close to ruth as maggie is so it was a little weird but i still get along with her just fine. again, i knew everyone on the shift and my friends thought it was crazy.

after waffle house i took daisy home and the rest of us went to fuck around in walmart. i got the last two metallica cds i was missing and tried not to cry. there’s a photo of me in the mini arcade at the front of the store holding them while on the tiny kids merry go round waiting for ruth to finish something.

mag had a breakdown when she got home over not being able to fully be herself around daisy and ruth, which i completely understand. she’s the designated funny friend who no one bothers to check in on or take seriously. she kept saying “well maybe i’m just wrong because ruth just goes to therapy and writes it in her journal she doesn’t hold grudges or make enemies like we do stevie” and that’s when i told her that she’s a main character of my diary blog so hey. me fuckin too. ruth is just a lame christian who doesn’t get fucked over as much as we do.

today was a good day. but still, i had to do so much to avoid my parents. wake up at a certain time, leave when i hear dad turn on the shower, and not come home until they went out to dinner. this is my fucking house man.

i think i had other things to say but my brain is FRIED right now. too much hairspray and eggos or something i guess.

[supercooladieu]

Pilot

Eek! The first episode. Full disclosure- the first season is my absolute favorite and always will be. I just love it. It always takes me back. The opening song “There She Goes” transports me to the earliest naught and makes me incredibly nostalgic for my childhood. Ugggggghhhhhh I love it.

The way Luke looks at Lorelai... 🥰💗💕 He’s feigning annoyance but you know he’s harboring this longtime, intense crush. 🔥🔥🔥 Whew! How he can be so smitten with her while she wears that hat is confounding but nonetheless... I wish a man would look at me like that. 

Luke’s baseball cap has an American flag on it which is weird.

The Independence Inn! I love the Independence Inn so much more than the Dragonfly. Sorry, not sorry. Drella was such a waste of a character. I love Alex Borstein but I am so glad that Melissa McCarthy got the role of Sookie and I honestly think Drella was completely unnecessary. 

I really love the way Michel and Lorelai play off one another in this scene. Their chemistry is so good, I wish they would have kept writing Michel’s character this way instead of the direction they ultimately went in. They really did the snooty, obnoxious Frenchman thing to death but he could have been so much more.

This might be an unpopular opinion but I actually like Rory’s oversized sweater look (or as Lorelai put it, her muumuu). 

LOL I cannot picture Lane listening to Eminem. Crazy Carrie is the Stars Hollow High English teacher. 

I know this has been said by many people before but it’s ridiculous that Sookie is supposed to be this amazing, experienced chef but she is such a disaster in the kitchen. The way she chops those peppers? Where are her knife skills?? She has the audacity to correct her bilingual staff on their English grammar but has absolutely no idea how to safely operate a kitchen when she is supposedly this incredible cook? What a joke. She starts a fire on the range and the other chef just puts a lid over it but doesn’t turn off the burner? I know, I know. It’s supposed to be humorous, but still...

One of Michel’s best, most relatable and most quotable scenes. “People are particularly stupid today. I can’t talk to any more of them.” I literally feel this in my soul every day at work.

There are so many plants in Lorelai’s house! She doesn’t seem like the type that can keep houseplants alive. How are Lorelai and Sookie so put together and responsible? They’re both single women in their early thirties and they both own their own homes. How is that possible? Was it just because this was pre-2008 housing crisis? I am so jealous of Lorelai’s house. 

Emily looks 10 years older in the pilot than she does in every subsequent episode. How did she age in reverse? Oh, Richard 💔 He’s kind of a garbage person throughout much of the series but he has those few redeeming moments which somehow more than make up for all the shitty things he does. I can't help but love him. And miss him. I know I’m getting old AF because I just caught myself thinking that he looks handsome in this episode 😱 He’s just so tall and masculine. His cheeky, smug grin when he says, “So, you need money.” 😍 Okay, I’m officially creeping myself out. 

I love first season Rory + Dean. They’re so cute. Teenagers do not talk to each other like that but it’s completely endearing even if it’s not 100% believable. Dean is so open and vulnerable with Rory right off the bat. No 16-year-old boy talks like that to the girl he has a crush on. Not any of the ones I’ve ever encountered, anyway. 

Lorelai and Rory are both eating salads at Luke’s. Weird! Oh, okay Luke brought them burgers. That’s more like it. But I feel like they definitely would’ve forgone the salads altogether in later episodes. The money Lorelai puts on the table to pay for the food falls on the floor and neither of them bother to pick it up. I always find it weird that Rory/Lorelai and Lane don’t acknowledge each other when they pass one another on the street. Not a nod, not a wave, not a half-smirk, nothing.

So when Lorelai realizes that Rory doesn’t want to go to Chilton because of a boy, Lorelai is understandably emotional. However, she literally says, “You are me,” and then proceeds to try and control Rory- doing exactly what Emily would have done in that situation. She doesn’t try and understand things from Rory’s perspective outside of how the situation could go badly. I honestly would have probably acted the same way, but Lorelai prides herself on being this “cool mom” who does things differently from her own controlling, suffocating mother. However, when she’s faced with Rory having a difference of opinion and acting like a moody teenager for once in her life, Lorelai’s first reaction is to “play the mom card” and fault Rory for falling for a boy. She basically tells Rory that she has no say in the matter and will be going to Chilton regardless of how she feels rather than talking things through. Again, I know she is just reacting to a situation in which she feels like the rug was pulled out from under her, but it’s funny to me that she reacts in the same way I would expect Emily to. And even though she acknowledges how similar she and Rory are, Lorelai reacts in a way that she would have totally resented if she were in Rory’s place.

I always thought it was weirdly out of character for Richard to fall asleep at the dinner table. He wasn’t that old- he would’ve only been 57 at that point.

Emily and Lorelai’s fight is so frustrating because I can understand where both were coming from. The two of them would have really benefitted from therapy. If Tony Soprano was doing it, why couldn’t the Gilmores?

I think Luke looks less attractive when he’s clean shaven and dressed up. It’s too jarring. He’s one of the very few men that look better to me with a baseball cap on.

Oh, the song they play at the end of the episode while it zooms out on Lorelai and Rory in Luke’s window from outside! Absolute perfection! Perfect opening song, perfect closing song. Great music choices all around in this episode.

Such a good pilot! I really, truly love it. I’ve watched it a million times and I could watch it a million more. 10/10.

[5ivebyfive]

OKAY. EXPLANATION ON THE RICKI LAKE/BRENDAN FRAISER TWEET:

Mrs. Wintorbourbe starring them and Shirley McClaine, amazing 90s movie, underrated!!

Connie is an 18 year old girl (unbelievably played by Ricki Lake, but who cares, it so great) who gets pregnant and thrown out by the baby daddy. She ends up on a train and meets this guy, Hugh (Brendan Fraiser) and his new, pregnant wife. Train accident. Mix up. Hugh and his wife die and Connie is mistaken for the wife and taken in by the guy’s rich family (Shirley McClaine as his mother, Brendan Fraiser as his twin brother, and the AMAZING Paco as their..butler? Driver? All of the above? He’s just amaaaazing). But she just goes with it cause she needs a place to stay, and much craziness ensues.

That’s all of the plot I will tell. The above all happens in about 10 minutes so I’m not really spoiling anything. But it’s one of those movies that’s so quotable and fun. Plus Brendan Fraiserx2.

It’s just such a fun, funny movie. I suggest EVERYONE watches it. HBOmax or wherever.

BUT her tweeting that about him is priceless and sweet and I retweeted her and she liked my tweet!

If you’ve seen it, or you watch it, come yell about it in my asks. I promise, you’ll enjoy the ride.

[adamwatchesmovies]

Miami Connection (1987)

Miami Connection contains everything you want in a cult film; an action movie so awesome and yet so poorly put together it becomes one of the most entertaining experiences you will ever have. It only gets better with each viewing.

Mark (Y.K. Kim, the film's martial arts consultant, casting director, producer, and co-story writer), John (Vincent Hirsch), Tom (Angelo Jannoti), Jim (Maurice Smith), and Jack (Joseph Diamond) are orphaned black belt university students living in the same apartment. Together, they are Dragon Sound, “a new dimension in rock and roll”. They’re so awesome their success puts other bands out of business. This is where their troubles begin. When their disgruntled musical rivals team up with a gang of thugs led by Jeff (William Ergle) whose sister Jane (Kathy Collier) just started dating one of the band members, he brings in a group of motorcycle-riding ninjas to help take down Dragon Sound once and for all.

A masterpiece takes time, dedication, passion, effort, and a lot of talent. The people who made Miami Connection had all these qualities… except for the talent. The plot is ridiculous; merely an excuse to tie together action sequences, ninja battles, and Dragon Sound performances. The acting is wooden. The dialogue is laughable. The special effects are cheesy, the violence is gratuitous, and the choreography is lackluster. Many of the characters could have been cut out completely and it wouldn’t have changed a thing. All of them are paper-thin. The unbelievably good soundtrack and the escalation of absurdity make it a riot. The whole thing feels like an episode of Denver the Last Dinosaur or Jem and the Holograms if you took out the dinosaur and the holograms and replaced it with karate. Lots and lots of karate.

Just a few scenes in, you’ll be giddy with excitement. You can’t make a film this entertaining without pouring your heart and soul into it. That earnestness is palpable. This is a labor of love that didn’t turn out to be very good, but it’s got everything you want in a film that’s so terrible it’s entertaining. You’ll lose track of the multitude of deliciously quotable lines. When someone asks you what your favorite scene was, will you go with the argument between two managers that goes from 0 to 200 in less than six seconds? How about the maniacal ninja leader who seems a little bit too eager to shed blood? I’ve got to go with the musical numbers - half the musicians are just pretending to play between throwing karate kicks in the air.

The script is memorable (not to be confused with polished) and the way the actors deliver their lines matches. Inconsequential moments become gems of absolute hilarity. A scene of mail being opened is so amazing the good people at Drafthouse films put it on their poster. I can’t do it justice, you’ve just got to see it for yourself.

For the soundtrack alone, Miami Connection is worth seeing. If you don't "get" why people enjoy bad movies, you will after this one. This is a great party movie, a quotable comedy, a bonkers action film, a rock musical with crazy lyrics, and an experience you won’t soon forget. (On Blu-ray, July 2, 2016)

[vyylet]

Personal Recommendations Logic - Under Pressure Review

Logic finally reaches his full potential on Under Pressure.

To me at least, Logic’s career has always been one of missed potential. Ever since Under Pressure and the Young Sinatra mixtapes, Logic has always demonstrated the pen game and instrumental pallet to make a great record. He also has some truly amazing songs that I find myself coming back to often, such as Growing Pains III, Dear God, Soul Food, Everybody, the list goes on. However, on every record Logic’s released up until this point, he always seems to be stuck in mediocrity that keeps him from releasing a great album. He had an especially bad 2019, coming off of Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, easily the worst rap album of his entire career, and Supermarket, a record I haven’t listened to yet, solely because of the reviews of this album making it sound so terrible that I don’t want to stomach even a second of it. Coming into this record, I wasn’t really sure what to think. I’m always interested and hopeful for every subsequent Logic release, however at this point I’ve kind of come accustomed to be disappointed. However, the album’s title being a clear homage to his first album, as well as him bringing back legendary producer No I.D. into the fray seemed to signal that this album wouldn’t be like most of the other albums that Logic has released up until this point.

Thankfully, I can say that this album does not disappoint, and actually blew my expectations out of the water. While this certainly isn’t the most revolutionary hip hop album of all time, its tracklist is filled with great song after great song. The appeal of this album is shown perfectly on the first track, No Pressure Intro, with its crispy boom bap drums, jazzy chords, and a nice flow and energy that Logic brings to the table. Logic’s pen game has also taken a step up since his past few records, with some funny and memorable quotables like “Gangsters put that heat to your head like a hairdresser”, and “On my Rosa Parks, in the back writin' like B-Rabbit”. 

All of these things combined make this track extremely enjoyable, and it continues onto the next track, Hit My Line. While I don’t think Logic’s melodic chorus on this track is all that stand-out, everything else about the track is great. The production is grand and gorgeous, with some heavy drums and warped piano samples, mixed with some grand synth bass hits at some points. The verses are also another part of the track that I love, with Logic rapping about just general injustices in the world, pleading to God to help solve and fix these issues. While this certainly isn’t the most revolutionary song topic, it’s made up for by some great lyricism, as well as Logic’s verse almost being a little anthemic with how passionate he sounds. 

The track GP4 is one that I have sort of grown to love over time. The song is a clear homage to the track Elevators by OutKast, with many elements of the track such as instrumental and the hook clearly being heavily inspired by that song. While I don’t love the fact that this song is pretty much a rip off of the OutKast track, in a vacuum I can’t help but love the song. Logic displays a lot of personality and penmanship on this song, with some stand-out moments, like the pretty funny Erykah Badu impression, as well as that Biggie Kick In the Door line, which completely blew my mind when I finally found out what it meant. 

Next on the album, the track Celebration is a fun banger, with Logic sounding confident as hell, and a beat that genuinely sounds like a Celebration. I also really love the track Open Mic//Aquarius III, with a nice beat and a performance that sounds kind of like a quick freestyle. One small part of the track that I really love is the way Logic’s voice is mixed, where Logic genuinely sounds like he’s performing at an open mic night.. After that part of the track, the Aquarius III part of the song starts, which is a fun, celebratory way to end the song, with some great production to boot. 

The track Soul Food II is another highlight, taking the beat from the first soul food with some great bars from Logic, talking about how he’s changed as an artist and as a person after the release of the first Soul Food song. My favorite part of the track is probably the flip of the first line on the first Soul Food, where instead of saying “Goddamn, goddamn, conversations with legends, Crazy how one day your idols can turn into your brethren”, he says “Goddamn, goddamn, conversations with people, Crazy how one day, the legends forget that they equal”

The second half of the song is Logic talking about this whole overarching story that’s been going on across his albums. While it may be cool to someone who’s super invested in that part of Logic’s career to hear this, I never much cared for the whole story aspect of his albums, so I didn’t really get much out of it. Still, though, Logic has a great delivery and flow throughout that entire part, and the beat is nice enough to the point where I can still thoroughly enjoy it. 

The track Perfect is a fun banger in the tracklist, with some trap-style hi hats, loud kicks, and 808 cowbell melodies. Logic sounds zany, funny, and confident on the track, and my only real complaint about the song is that it’s only 1:40. 

After that track, we get two more lowkey cuts, man i is and DadBod. The track man i is is a track that I have mixed feelings about. While I do appreciate the instrumental on the song, the song feels a bit long-winded, with the horn sections taking up an extremely long amount of time. Additionally, I feel like Logic could’ve done a little bit better with the lyrics here. While I most certainly like them, it doesn’t really seem like Logic truly hits any super salient realization about who he is, and the track kind of devolves into rambling at a certain point. The track DadBod is a track that I like much more. The drums on this track are probably my favorite part of the instrumental, as I just find the way they hit and all sound to be extremely satisfying. While the track has a painfully simple chord progression in the sample, it’s more than made up for by the catchy chorus on the song, as well as the lyrics on this song. While some might find the song a bit annoying, it’s rare to see someone like Logic admit how truly boring some aspects of his life are now that he is a dad, rapping about cleaning baby shit and complaining about the bad hotel wifi when he’s touring, and I find seeing this part of the song to be really admirable. 

After those two tracks, there’s a much-needed pickup with the track 5 Hooks. While I think the song’s decent, I feel like there isn’t really all that much to the track. There’s not many quotables that I can remember from it, and while the beat is fine, it’s certainly not one of the best on the project.

The track Dark Place is honestly one of my favorites on the album. While the instrumental is very stark, I think Logic lays down one of his best verses on this song, talking about his mental health and a lot of things that are honestly really sad to hear. I really love the message of the song, admitting that you are sad and realizing that it’s ok- everyone gets sad from time to time.

After that is probably the worst track on the album, A2Z, which is an ABC rap. It’s one of the only songs on the album with an instrumental I genuinely dislike, and the lyrics aren’t all that impressive either.

The song Heard Em Say is another highlight on the album, with one of my favorite instrumentals. There’s a huge Kanye influence that I hear on this song, whether that be the drum pattern of the instrumental, or a lot of the inflections that Logic uses during his verses.

Overall, I’m really happy with this album. Do I think it’s going to convince any Logic haters to appreciate his music? No. Do I think this is going to go down as one of the greatest hip hop albums of all time? No. However, this is still a very quality release from an artist that has always had the potential to release something this good. It’s nice to see Logic happy in retirement, and I love this record lots. I don’t think he could have released a better sendoff to his career than this.

8.7/10

Favorite Tracks: No Pressure Intro, Hit My Line, GP4, Celebration, Open Mic//Aquarius III, Soul Food II, Perfect, DadBod, Dark Place, Heard Em Say

Least Fav Track: A2Z

[thephantomporg84]

Why is making fun of Vergil so much fun? I think it’s because unlike Dante, he takes himself way too seriously and doesn’t even realize how ridiculous he looks lol

Exactly this, imo. Lmao.

He also exists in a universe that is absolutely fucking off-the-shits ridiculous, complete with chainsaw motorcycles and literal blood-powered hell structures and flying whales, among other things, yet he remains dead serious, like he is the only person not in on the joke. And really, it’s a quality setup for his character, because it only gets funnier as the series goes on. We (as the player) are in on this, Dante is, Nero is, literally everyone else is, but he is not. It’s the same reason why Jotaro is ironically so funny in JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure despite being a very serious/no smiles/grumpy character that doesn’t even pose often — it’s a ridiculous world and he is the least ridiculous person in it.

Thinking about it in context: Nearly all of Vergil’s most quotable (and, surprise surprise, funniest) lines in DMC3 come before/after the first fight between him and Dante. And up until that point, Dante:

—has been stabbed multiple times, at once

—gotten incredibly upset over a pizza

—decides that the party was getting crazy (direct quote) and threw on his equivalent of a housecoat and slippers (untied boots, no shirt, jacket) to go beat his brother’s ass

—wacky wahoo’s his way all the way up the tower, trickstering and prop shredding and all but honking a fucking clown horn the whole time

—is shot point blank in the head during his ascension by an absolutely feral school girl who is still in uniform while storming the tower, and has procured a fucking bazooka from god-only-knows what kind of black market deal to presumably kill her father with, and basically chalks it up to: “eh, women, amiright? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯”

—gets his ass beat by the brother in question, who — and I cannot stress this enough — is wearing a cravat + sleeveless zip-up vest while simultaneously waxing philosophical and sounding like a dying kazoo.

—immediately runs back down the tower he just ascended and gets eaten by a flying goddamn whale, and we’re not even to the halfway mark yet.

—skip ahead some time later to DMC5, and the mood is literally Dante coming to terms with having to kill his absolute twat of a brother, for realsies this time, as he puts on his cowboy hat and revs his chainsaw motorcycle while letting out a wahoo or 90 for nostalgia’s sake.

So yeah. When you pull back and look at the series, it just makes Vergil’s entire personality that much funnier in the grand scheme of things. And I know I sound mean, I’m sure, but I genuinely do love it though. It’s some of the best unintentional comedy/meme-worthy content I’ve ever seen next to JoJo’s, and it’s completely my type of humor.

Also! Cropped/Awkward Vergil memes have been and will always be my kryptonite:

[chefjarredjarred]

Anxiety. (excerpt)

People. “They're the worst,” Jerry once concurred with Elaine. And they are.

So I didn't really want a job as a verification specialist for a background check company,  making a hundred phone calls a day to anywhere in the country, but there was a time when it was a job I needed; it was remote so I could do it from my living room, it supplemented my main income from cooking and barbacking, and I was allowed to adjust my own schedule around that other work and my Tuesday morning therapy sessions.

But Jesus Christ, the people: the combative, the confused, the cavalier, the crotchety; the mousy, the crazy, the stupid, the lazy; the disgruntled, the bitter, the hateful, the bossy; the scammers, the liars, the paranoid; the unintelligible, or, through no fault of their own, the foreign; the mouth breathers, the assholes; the fast food workers, who are always a grab bag. I got them all, every day. And just one nice old lady from Florida, Ms. Charlene.

I got the job in part by cherry-picking some of my old chef experience and molding it all up into a wad of passable bullshit in the interview. Not lies, you know, just bullshit. I sold the personal importance of always speaking concisely and effectively, and of remaining cool and courteous and logical even when being angrily berated by the most ignorant, disrespectful know-nothings. Okay, so that one tiny lie. I made no mention of smashing saucers, slinging sheet pans, or every chef's favorite, smiting servers. (But come on, FOH, y'all know when you're asking for it.) I gave no indication that my rage, anxiety, and feelings of undeserved victimhood and exhaustion were a nest of coiled snakes, something every person who has ever worked in a kitchen around me could sense. Do your job, leave the attitude outside the kitchen doors, and speak only of pith and pertinence during service. Don't fuck with me, don't get fanged.

A bartender I worked with for years once called me unapproachable. It was in the same breath that she called me a dick, proving that the robotic personality of feigned professionalism and phony positivity (every company has their Stepford Wives, don't they?) on which she prided herself—loathed by so many in the restaurant—could be cracked, and I loved that I had been the one to do it. But the part about being a dick wasn't a bold quotable. My being unapproachable became a favorite running joke for years, perverted and perpetuated by me. Y'all think I'm unapproachable? I am. Fuck off.

But that's truncated, for effect and time. Fuck off, I have a job to do, is the real, full statement, and a linchpin tenet of my style of cheffing. I don't need loud voices, loud noises, disrespect, emotional clouding, confusion, excuses, etc., or that irritable anxiety snake could be disturbed. “Just the facts, ma'am.” There's just no time for the extraneous.

Don't disrupt the flow of food.

That's the principle I emphasized in the interview, just folded into the bullshit wad that made it applicable to phoning idiotic, ornery strangers—and Ms. Charlene. Obviously, I had to omit the venom, violence, viciousness, the vitriol. There was already a tiny stumble in there when the interviewer asked if I would describe myself as an introvert, and I, being honest to a fault at the most inappropriate moments, confessed that I would.

“You do know what this job is, right?”

I actually didn't, right up until about two seconds before that question, but I recovered gracefully, explaining some crap about being able to turn on the smiles and pleasantries when I meant business, something like that.

Fake smiles. Ugh. God dammit. I actively campaign against them. A fake smile is the opposite of Fuck off, of the pith and pertinence, the order and efficiency I expected, of just the facts. It's a capitulation, a white flag.

You know what I absolutely hate more than people? The expectation that I'm obligated to give them a fake smile. It's a banner that says you're willing to accept the extraneous, the unexpected, that whatever they are about to say and the way they will say it has some compelling power over you, and that you have all the time in the world to stand there and graciously let it be unloaded onto you. That your anxiety is not there and not real.

That you are approachable.

Fake smiles are blood in the water. That's right, when it goes from snakes to sharks.

“What we always say here is 'Smile and dial!'”

It was a virtual interview, and he couldn't see or hear my feet double-kick-drumming the floor. But what he did hear and what I couldn't believe was the fake laugh I forced through my fake smile. Jesus, Jarred, you're escalating? Allowance is support. “Sure, sure,” I said, as if I were a lifelong brown-noser. You're a disgrace.

“If you can run a kitchen, I have no doubt that you can do this.”

I didn't either. That's misinformation, that anxiety is simply fear. I wasn't afraid I would fail (literally anyone, barring anxiety, can be a verification “specialist”). In fact, I was totally confident I could succeed...theoretically. He said it: If I could run a kitchen, I could do this. The things that worried me were the scheduling, sleeping, caffeinating, eating, speaking, putting on my fake personality with my fake smile, and juggling and maintaining it all every day without falter, without letting on that there was any internal difficulty. I worried not about my actual job performance, but how I might struggle to simultaneously perform and hide my character flaws, i.e. the stuff that I left hanging out in the open when I was a chef. Does that make any sense?

Anxiety, not fear.

So the job was simple, but not easy, and there was a lot to make an anxious person anxious: the people, of course; the never-ending flood of calls; the quick navigating of the system when someone backpedaled or said something inaccurate or swung their mood in an instant; the software glitches; the hold music. Every second of the workday, even your coffee-caused poop break, was timed and factored in to your production average. You were judged and graded by making a ton of calls and/or closing as many cases as you could, which sounds fine, but is actually decided by chance more than some mathematical guarantee. That angered me the most, watching my closes and “touches” tabulated throughout the day, working against each other, my percentage of success being stretched thinner and thinner as I piled up calls that became mere touches rather than closes. It was the opposite of what we really wanted, and the secret little opposite of what we were trained to believe. The pessimist in me knew that the given goals were just out of reach, of course, so we would unknowingly meet the real goals and feel worthless at the end of the day, like we hadn't done enough. The realist in me hated the pretending that we had any control over it. The fatalist in me knew that it didn't matter, but could not force the crippled, anxious existentialist in me to just shut the fuck up.

...Oh, there is no optimist in here, if you were waiting for it.

I knew the fatalist was right after a sweet, timid childcare worker put me on hold to find something useful for me, which would only be a different number or a different person or, if life were easy, the name of a recognized third party verification website. This was 10:40 in the morning, in my first hour of the workday that was already a little too unfruitful. I watched the timer tick away, and when she returned, she had found...an unrecognized third party verification website. That meant I had to type a message into our Teams chat to request a supervisor's review and approval to put the name of the website in the little box and move to the next call.

Eight minutes had now passed as I waited for an answer. I had let the worker, Taylor, hang up already so she could get her eyes back on what wild heathens she may have had under her watch. It was a personal rule of mine to never hold restaurant workers or childcare workers hostage on the phone, because their work was more important than mine. I thought about the time my mom came to pick me up from one of these daycare facilities, walking in at the same time as another little boy's father, together to catch the perfect and precise moment that I socked that boy right across his jaw with full force, superhero super-spinning into that punch in defiance of his superior strength and grip of my head as he had tried to slam my skull into a wooden shelf for a second time. We were bloody, snotty, and sweaty in the throes of killer instinct, but I still caught the looks of horror on our parents' faces. Why the fistfight happened, I don't remember, but how? Well, because someone who was supposed to be paying attention, wasn't. Kids will go feral and push the boulder on Piggy as soon as your back is turned. I let Taylor off the phone for that reason. I waited for a supervisor's response in the chat, watching the seconds count on and that first hour, and thus the rest of my day and any hope of average achievement, drift away from me. They told me the site was no good and I needed to call poor Taylor back and try again. I sighed, copied the number and clicked the button, explained to her what was happening, and with real politeness she placed me, again, on hold. She came back with a phone number but the same uncertainty.

But in the chat, a supervisor had offered another phone number, different from what I was now taking down on the call. I was urged to try that one instead, so I let Taylor go back to the children a final time, and made my third phone call of the case. An automated message finally pointed me to a recognized third party verification website, and gave the particular employer code needed to access it. The anxiety snake and the rage snake were waking and knotted. I clicked the Other Automated Method button...and the system skipped on to complete the case, without letting me input the website or the code. “No, hell no.” I backed up and tried again. Same result, the skip. I went back to the chat and explained, and typed “Can someone please help me before my head explodes” with no punctuation.

A supervisor called me, and I shared my screen with her. “Let's see what happ—Oh, the client put it on hold, so just exit. It doesn't matter.”

It doesn't matter.

11:01. One close, 13 touches. I was white hot.

The anxiety, the rage, the pessimism, realism, fatalism, the whole nest of snakes was awake and wiggling, tossing, tangling themselves up like a... Well, you know. Like a rubber-band ball. I violently ripped the headset off of me, pushing breath through my teeth like the snarling little Jarred who punched that stupid kid in the mouth in the daycare brawl. I thought about that famed image of the snake eating its tail, whatever it's called. I thought about quitting. I thought about how two days before, my therapist and I had tried to come up with a suitable and available grounding technique I could try to prevent this exact, inevitable moment, this kind of anxiety attack. I thought about telling her how I thought that I was failing at everything. You're a disappoi— Shut the fuck up, Jarred—

It doesn't matter? I thought about that, that every moment of the day was part of the calculation of my performance grade for something ultimately shrugged off. That I spent 20 fucking minutes wasting my fucking time to get something that doesn't fucking matter but earns for me a judgment as if it does fucking matter.

But I thought about how I needed that little bit of extra money, and the other reasons for seeking and taking the job. Breathe, Jarred.

And that was not an isolated incident. Every day I fought for the energy and will to tether myself with the headset, log in, and hear the first ring. It came immediately, every single morning. I'd close my eyes and siiiigh through that first ring, just before being snatched along and pummeled by the frenzy.

I tried earnestly the smile-and-dial one time. I felt like Nicolas Cage in one of those especially wacky scenes of Face/Off. A total psycho, unhinged.

The calls were recorded and scrutinized, for quality and legality, and a handful a month were sent back to me to review whatever I had done wrong, or what I could do better.

Ah, yes. So there was another itchy, irritating thread of anxiety even on the less violent days.

Do you ever hear your own recorded voice and you hate yourself and wish you had never been born? Yeah, me too. So I only ever listened to one call and that was enough of that. I didn't want to hear myself. That voice wasn't mine, it was some cartoon-like, nasally Billy Bob Thornton's voice, reverberating somewhere way up high in the sinuses.

A hundred calls a day is a lot of talking. I began obsessing over how I pronounce—among many other things—the number four. There were fours everywhere, embedded, like chocolate chips in cookie dough, throughout almost every case number, and in our callback number I had to recite on dozens of voicemails per day. I wondered if I could trust my own ears in hearing the way I would say it, or if in reality I sounded like I was four. Fohwuh. Every day I ran this mental gamut of self-critique and insult, concentrating insanely on the most minute and deliberate flicks and curls of my tongue and lips. Any word becomes weirdly unnatural when you pay such specific attention to it. But I put so much (too much) effort into working on a competent phone voice not only so I wouldn't sound like a jackass, but so I could be efficient in my work and thus keep up with the production quota. I needed 20 touches an hour, not 13, so I needed people to understand me so I could get in, get out, and get on the next call. My strategy was to try and emulate the radio voice of Christopher Kimball—polite, proper, pronounced, professional. In my dirty pajamas, sitting on a lumpy pillow on a hand-me-down office chair as it was clawed to pieces by my screaming cats, I wanted to sound like I was wearing a bow tie. Like I was in a real office without cats, with a real college degree framed proudly on the wall. Polished and prepared.

It's hard work, if you can imagine. I'm not a talker. I don't like strangers. They're unpredictable. Any unexpected wrench in the routine could prove how fragile the facade is, that I'm actually a wobbly stack of quivering, anxious gremlins pretending to be a presentable person in, I guess, an imaginary bow tie.

It's hard work, if you'll let me say that again. But I thought I was doing pretty well. I hadn't cussed anyone out and I hadn't hurled the computer through the window, at least.

Then one day I called an office in Shelby, North Carolina. A woman answered, lazily, and I stated my reason for calling. She just said, “Hold on,” dismissively, with no practiced professionalism whatsoever. There's a lot of that out there. A rare treat then it was when I spoke with anyone trying to exude the same level of maturity as I, during business hours. My Kimball voice was for your benefit, lady. You didn't care. I know this because instead of really putting me on hold, instead of pressing a button to leave me in that telephonic waiting area listening to one of those overused cheap songs, like the one with the incessant MIDI claps that makes my toes tense and my teeth clench and jarringly reminds me that the anxiety is always bang-bang-banging at the door of the closet I locked it in, instead of just conducting two seconds of mundane business like a normal goddamn person, this woman just set the phone down on her desk and, evidently sickened beyond composure, blurted to her coworker, “God, I hate when someone clears their throat while I'm on the phone with them.” I did?

There I was, exposed, a bunch of phlegmy gremlins, collapsing and scrambling. Instantly I remembered the time my dad and stepmom asked me if I was on some kind of drug, because I cleared my throat “a lot.” Yeah, I don't know what they were talking about either, but apparently this involuntary habit is remarkably frequent. And a hundred calls a day I was doing this. How many of these people find me disgusting, inhuman, or think I'm on drugs? How about people in everyday life? Do my friends mock me? Who taught you how to function, Jarred? My mind spiraled, the snakes squirmed and seethed.

The rest of the phone call was stiff and clumsy, tears welling like a porn star's while I silently packed down the coughs and chokes congesting behind whatever ball of bile bottlenecking at the back of my throat, because I should die right on the living room carpet, sacrificial and blue, lest I irk this absolute cuntbag's social sensitivities, gurgling grotesque and oozing disease.

But am I crazy or...ahem...is that just trivially fucking inoffensive? If I had frog squatted on my desk and—“Verify this, bitch!”—farted into a metal basin full of Cracker Barrel gravy, then sure, be mad. Slam the phone down. Say to the guy by the copier, “Why me?!” and vow to get me fired. But if a natural, nonchalant throat-clearing infuriates you enough to comment on it, you're honestly just an asshole. It's not a frog squat gravy fart, it's not a rude personal affront. It's somewhere way below open mouth chewing, there around unfortunate but necessary nose blowing. I'm gross, you're gross, we're all gross. Get over it, and then, Fuck off, I have a job to do.

I did briefly wonder if maybe she's an anxious person too, a gremlin, maybe her facade is as fragile as mine, but I don't think so, because her attitude when she answered my call had already indicated to me that she never dressed up in a fake bow tie. She thinks she's a normal person: reckless, careless, unprofessional. No phone tone, no Kimball timbre. And because of that, she gave me another thing to worry about, to nag at me, something uncontrollable that I'd be trying to temper, something unconsciously mechanical now made noticeable and manual and clumsy. Thanks.

I was just worried about my goofy voice.

If you're thinking that it's all just a little silly and ridiculously minuscule, then congratulations, you're one of those “normal” people, like Ms. Shelby North Carolina. You make our lives worse.

[aion-rsa]

Best New Movies on Netflix in March 2021

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The month of March signals a grim milestone with it being roughly one year since COVID-19 shut movie theaters down around the world. And 12 months later, going to a cinema remains a risky proposition. However, the comfort of Netflix is still providing a safe alternative for the quarantine-bound.

Here’s a handful of new cinematic gems coming to a streaming service near you.

Batman Begins (2005)

March 1

Christopher Nolan‘s Batman origin story breathed new life into the Dark Knight in 2005 after Batman & Robin killed the movie franchise eight years earlier. Christian Bale, who gained more muscle than he probably needed for the role, turns in an excellent performance as both the troubled billionaire and the Caped Crusader. Along for the ride are Michael Caine as the definitive version of Alfred Pennyworth on the big screen, as well as Liam Neeson as Ra’s al Ghul, Gary Oldman as Jim Gordon, and Katie Holmes as love interest Rachel Dawes. Featuring plenty of twists and turns, a few spooky scenes with the Scarecrow (Cillian Murphy), and a deep-dive into the mind of a haunted man on a mission to save his decaying city, Batman Begins plants many of the seeds of brilliance that would fully bloom in its follow-up.

Crazy, Stupid, Love. (2011)

March 1

Hitting its 10-year anniversary in a few months, Glenn Ficarra and John Requa’s Crazy, Stupid, Love. still feels like a rom-com from a different era. With its laid back demeanor, and generally laconic grooving on a plot about a player (Ryan Gosling) helping a middle-aged divorced schmuck (Steve Carell) get back on his feet, this goes down more like a star vehicle from five decades ago. Yet the piece is as effortlessly appealing as Gosling’s too-cool-for-school energy, elevating the movie over screenwriter Dan Fogelman’s more recent dramedies, such as This is Us. Plus, hey, it’s also the first movie to realize Gosling and Emma Stone have like crazy good chemistry.

Dances with Wolves (1990)

March 1

Kevin Costner’s Oscar winner is somewhat haunted by its little gold statues for Best Picture and Director, which it won over Martin Scorsese’s Goodfellas. However, there is still an excellent Western here that captured audiences’ imaginations in 1990 for a reason. The story of a U.S. Cavalry officer who becomes enamored with and then assimilated by a community of Lakota Native Americans, Dances with Wolves has a sweeping majesty that’s as immersive as John Barry’s score. It can be rightly criticized for embracing “white savior” tropes, but Costner’s movie still has the good grace to put performances like Graham Greene’s front and center.

The Dark Knight (2008)

March 1

Fans critical of Heath Ledger’s casting as the Joker quickly switched to praising the late actor when The Dark Knight hit theaters in 2008. A true agent of chaos, this Joker puts Bale’s Batman and his allies through a gauntlet of capers, assassination attempts, and pain. Even district attorney Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart), the city’s very own white knight, can’t resist the Joker’s corrupting influence as the clown lays siege to Gotham. A story about how far you’ll go to get justice, and how long a functioning society can withstand that pressure, The Dark Knight plays more like a serious crime drama (with Batman flying off rooftops on occasion, of course) than a traditional superhero romp. At a time when superhero movies were still better known for punching and tights, Nolan sought to say something more with the genre. 

Rain Man (1988)

March 1

Barry Levinson’s 1988 road trip drama cleaned up at the Oscars when it was released, bagging Best Picture, Director, Original Screenplay, and Best Actor for Dustin Hoffman. It’s often held up as creating the stereotype of the “autistic savant,” but this drama which sees selfish douchebag Charlie (Tom Cruise) travel across America with Raymond (Hoffman), the brother he didn’t know he had but who is now unexpectedly the sole inheritor of their father’s fortune, still stands up as a character piece that tugs at the heartstrings. If nothing else, it’s a highly quotable cultural phenomenon and a showcase of actors at the top of their game.

Training Day (2001)

March 1

Here is a film so good that its influence still lingers over pop culture to this day, even if no one quite remembers why Denzel Washington is saying King Kong ain’t got shit on him. Back in 2001, it catapulted Washington to his second Oscar, this time in the leading man category thanks to the role of Alonzo, a crooked cop who takes rookie Jake (Ethan Hawke) under his wing and (seemingly) into his vices. It’s a gritty crime thriller anchored by two strong performances, including Washington at his showiest. In fact, he’s so good at elevating this movie that it sometimes feels like director Antoine Fuqua and screenwriter David Ayer have been unsuccessfully trying to duplicate it ever since.

Audrey (2020)

March 14

Audrey Hepburn so effortlessly inhabits the screen that for generations of movie lovers, she seemed unreal—a symbol of style and glamour whose feet were never meant to touch earthly clay. This, however, misses the remarkableness of her life’s journey, from starving conditions under Nazi occupation in the Netherlands during her adolescence—informing her unique frame for the rest of her life—to eventually using those unspoken memories of atrocity as the foundation to become a human rights activist late in life. In between, she had a brief Hollywood career stacked with high fashion and a shockingly high quotient of classics. In fact, she became a new image for femininity in the mid-20th century. Audrey is a somewhat rose-tinted documentary about all of this, but for those who would like to know more, it’s a lovely place to start.

Philomena (2013)

March 22

A sweet, powerful, and decidedly underrated gem, Stephen Frears’ Philomena provides a gentle touch to the true life story of Philomena Lee, a woman who spent 50 years looking for the child she was forced to give up to adoption. But even “forced” is perhaps too easy a word since in her native Ireland, she was more or less incarcerated at a convent after becoming pregnant at the age of 18, with nuns sending the child away to parts unknown without her consent. Philomena now tracks the final months of her search as an older woman through the prism of a two-hander between Judi Dench as Philomena and Steve Coogan as Martin Sixsmith, the journalist who told her story and inspired the film. It makes for a surprisingly warm and affectionate road movie.

At Eternity’s Gate (2018)

March 31

At Eternity’s Gate is far from the only film about the life of Vincent van Gogh and it isn’t the best (shout out to Lust For Life, Loving Vincent, and that one episode of Doctor Who), but it’s still worth a watch—especially for fans of the Dutch painter. With Willem Dafoe as van Gogh, Oscar Isaac as Paul Gaugin, and Mads Mikkelsen as “The Priest,” the 2018 biopic would be worth it for the performances alone. But director and artist Julian Schnabel (The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, Basquiat) further elevates what is a pretty straight-forward story (albeit with a controversial ending) about the painter’s final, prolific days in the French countryside into a visually vivid and emotionally affecting tale about the joys and struggles of creative compulsion.

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